


I Didn't Know Love Was Supposed to Hurt

by Samdeancasattack



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-18
Updated: 2017-09-18
Packaged: 2018-12-31 03:42:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12123786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Samdeancasattack/pseuds/Samdeancasattack
Summary: A destiel oneshot about the loss of love and what it means to be honest with yourself. Dean Winchester is scared of what it means when he looks into Cas' eyes.





	I Didn't Know Love Was Supposed to Hurt

**Author's Note:**

> This is just the beginning of this fic, leave comments and tell me what you think. This is my first fic so let me know what you think I can improve on.

The bar was filled with meaningless actions, hookups, and encounters just like the rest. Dean had insisted that they go in. The bars made Cas all matters of uncomfortable, he wasn't quite sure why but he hated seeing dean with other women. Actually he knew exactly why but he wasn't willing to admit his feelings to himself or anyone else for that matter, especially Dean. He didn't know when his feeling went from best friend to more for Dean but as he looked at the man sitting next to him he knew he was feeling something he had never felt for anyone else. 

“Dean I'm not sure why we are here.” he said looking at Dean for a response.  
“We're here to get you a girl.” Dean said with a shit eating smirk on his face as he stared back the angel. “Dean…” Cutting Cas off “Hey, no you are getting laid tonight.”  
Cas looked over to Dean with apparent confusion on his face. “Why would I want that?”  
Dean chuckled and looked across the bar at a twenty something blonde. “Just trust me with this one.” He winked at Cas and started to pull him over across the bar to the girl.  
“Hey there, my devilishly handsome friend wanted to say hi.”  
The girl blushed and said hi back to both Cas and Dean. “Umm… Hello.” said Cas, it was obvious he felt uncomfortable at this point. “If you'll excuse me, I need to use the restroom.” Dean started after Cas.

“Hey, man why do you always act like this at bars?”  
“I don't know Dean, maybe I'm just not comfortable with meaningless hookups like you are,” there was anger in his voice that time. He walked out of the bar and straight to the impala in which they drove there together. Dean wasn't far behind him with anger of his own rising up. Cas made it to the car first, slamming the door behind him. Dean followed his actions, getting in the car, “Don't take your anger out on baby, Cas” He was obviously annoyed at Cas, but the car wasn't what was really on his mind. “Just take me home, Dean, please.”  
“Fine”  
Dean started the Impala and pulled out of the broken asphalt parking lot. The drive back to the bunker was extremely tense but neither men said a word. Their thoughts were flowing, mainly over how they felt for one another. There were so many questions they don't know if they could let themselves answer.  
To put it simply, Dean was scared he didn't know what this feeling creeping up in his throat was, through his bones and his whole being for the man sitting on the bench seat next to him. He was so used to not allowing himself to feel that the thought of letting someone love was scarier than any of the things he's shot with a 45. 

The man sitting next to him. A man. What did that mean? He wasn't supposed to have these feelings for men, it wasn't supposed to be like this. 

Cas got out of the car as soon as the impala came to a halt. He started into the bunker and headed to the kitchen. The bunker wasn't really “home” but being there with Dean and Sam was the closest to home he’d ever had.

“What the hell man” Dean said as he entered the kitchen, the anger in his voice clear, but kept he quiet as Sam was asleep in his room.  
“Dean, I don't want to talk about it,”  
Dean hastingly replied, “Do you not want to have fun or what?. …. I also don't have meaningless hookups all the time.”  
Annoyed Cas replied, “You come home with someone new at least once a week, the last time I checked those were called meaningless hookups.”  
Dean hesitated for a second, “Why do you even care?”  
Cas started to blush and looked away from him. Dean didn't know why but Cas’s rosy cheeks started to do something to him and that scared him... “I..I..I don't know, I just don't like seeing you with other people.”  
Dean smirked, “What you have some kinda crush on me?” His tone was sarcastic but some part of him had hope, he wanted Castiel to say yes.  
“Well I do enjoy your company, Dean, and I do find you attractive. So would that be considered what you call it a uh “crush”?” 

Wow. That's all Dean could think. WOW. He was always scared of his feelings, but right now, for whatever reason, he wasn't scared. He was intrigued. He moved in closer to Castiel. So close that he could feel the angels breath tickle his nose.  
“What are you doing Dean?”

“Just trust me, angel.”

Dean leaned into to him and pressed his lips to Cas’. A thousand words were exchanged between the two without ever speaking. It was like all the feelings they had hidden from each other for all those years were being poured out through one kiss. Everything felt incredibly slow and fast at the same time. 

A single tear.

Cas felt a tear on his cheek.

It felt out of place.

...the tear wasn't his…

 

Cas pulled away slightly just enough to see Dean's face. He lifted his fingers to Dean’s face and wiped the tear away.  
“Cas-...Castiel…”  
“Shhhh”, Cas wrapped his arms around Dean as he nestled his head into his neck.


End file.
